Since April hit, things are really gearing up for wedding season. One of my bridesmaids came back from England to have her bridal shower and she had such a beautiful day for it. We celebrated her day at Harvest on Hudson with bellinis and mimosas (and for me, the entire bread basket, since I had just finished the whole 30).
It really feels like she is living in a movie. She moved to England to be with her love (who started as her best friend) and they have this adorable place in the country side and are getting married and will someday have little blue-eyed babies with adorable british accents. As much as I miss her, I so admire her bravery for going to a new country, far away from all things familiar and starting a new life. Her bold move truly did pay off because looking at her, she is glowing from the inside, out.
YESTERDAY, we went and met with our florist, Melissa. I wasn’t sure what to expect because I (unintentionally) hadn’t really been all that helpful prior to our meeting. I had, of course, tried to send her some pictures of flowers or centerpieces, per her request. However, even those came with a lot of BUTs. But not those colors, not that size, not that spiky thing, not that fancy. My requests weren’t in a diva way (although over e-mail it is quite possible she saw it that way even with my abundance of smiley faces and exclamation points). I just have a vision in my head and there aren’t necessarily pictures of those ideas out there.
As soon as we walked in, after first noticing how warm and welcoming Melissa was, I looked past her and saw a display of roses on the table. I love almost every single flower out there, including some specimens that are probably considered weeds and not flowers. I love all flowers. Except. Roses.
Ok, maybe that is false. I actually love almost every single type of rose, especially modern garden. I do nottttttttttt like the hybrid tea rose (the one you commonly see at your local florist). I think my rejection of this rose comes from the fact that it is seen everywhere and I tend to run in the opposite direction of anything I consider to be the norm or overdone (I initially had this reaction to our honeymoon spot but I could tell M was so excited). I’m not sure what the root of that aspect of my personality comes from but we have done enough dissecting in my previous posts about me as a human so let’s just leave that one for now.
M used to get me this type of rose every single time he got me flowers and I never said a peep because 1. who would argue with their handsome new boyfriend buying flowers? and 2. I figured they must have been his favorite and that was enough of a reason to be happy about them. One day the topic of flowers came up in a group conversation. I think someone was talking about their disdain for carnations and I jumped in to defend. When it came out that I couldn’t stand roses (or that specific type) M looked at me, shocked. Apparently, he had only been getting me those because he saw every other boy buying those and figured it was safe. Now he knows to find the weirdest looking bunch in the group and go for those.
Anyways. I saw the display of roses and realized that perhaps my vague explanation of my vision had caused a big misunderstanding. I slinked over to the chair and tried to find a nice way of saying I didn’t want any of them. I decided to go with the mature approach of blurting out “I love your store! Roses are my least favorite flower of all time!! HAhaha” and then frantically trying to get my pinterest to load with M and her both side eyeing me.
She was a pro though and after showing her a little bit more of what I had in mind, she got it right away. Even my centerpiece idea, which I know had some people confused (and probably worried), she was able to work with me and we played around with ideas until we got it just right. I have total faith that she will deliver my not so clear, not so conventional vision, the day of.
At the beginning, I really wasn’t all that excited about flowers and even questioned whether or not we needed to have them. After meeting with Melissa, I left the building, skipping out like a young school girl.
This week has been an interesting one. On Tuesday a medical problem that I had hoped had gone away (actually I knew it wouldn’t have gone away but didn’t address it since it hadn’t reared it’s ugly head… very “if I can’t see you, you can’t see me” of me) resurfaced and made me finally have to think about what the next step was going to be. It was a bummer and I went home and buried my head in cashew butter, as I sometimes do (guess my relationship with food is as strong as ever!). As always though, my family swooped right in and made it not feel so daunting.
Yesterday, my dad was coming through town and it couldn’t have been better timing. We look the train together into the city and then met M for dinner. It was good to spend time with him and have an awesome meal. While he will always be my parent, in recent years he feels like a friend too… Except when I frantically call him after being rear ended for the 8th time or texting him to see if I would get a disease from holding a bird…then he is mostly dad. Our similar personalities were at times the cause of us butting heads when I was younger but are now why we are so close. Even though we have very similar personalities, he does not get nearly as stressed out as I do….Sound familiar? Similar to me and M? Classic, daughter marrying someone similar to her father. Is that weird?
Anywho. I realized it when we were both talking about work. When he is in high stress situations, he is as cool as a cucumber. When I am in high stress situations I look as cool as a cucumber (minus my eyes maybe being a bit more bulgy) but inside my heart is going a million miles a minute and I have sweat through my outfit. I don’t know when that happened to me. I used to be so chill and now I am like a windup toy. Watching home videos my brother would be swinging from the rafters and I would be quietly sitting, organizing my mother’s food cabinet. There is literally a video of us at the park where my brother is running around jumping off of every slide and jungle gym and the camera pans to me, the slug on the ground with my mother prodding me begging me to do something for the camera. I begrudgingly grab a tricycle and slide down the hill, not even pedaling, just letting my legs drag alongside until I finally run into the wall at the bottom of the hill. It also used to be pointless to try and discipline me because I would be sent to my room and end up joyfully singing to myself and playing barbie dolls. Now if I feel like I have done something wrong or disappointed anyone, I angst over it until I make it right. Funny how much we can change over time. Who knew I would one day aspire to be like my 3 year old self?
Happy hump day! Even though I am dressed like a downer, I have a lot to be happy about.
- Today is warm AND sunny!
- People seemed to be a lot kinder today than they were yesterday
- The Whole30 is almost done! Don’t get me wrong- I’ve enjoyed this process and want to continue with healthy eating…But boy it will make eating out a whole lot easier.
- It only took me two (versus the normal 8) tries to parallel park in front of my building today. Pretty sure I could hear the people inside cheering 😉
- I get to see one of my best pals who lives in ENGLAND now, this weekend 🙂
Over the weekend, we were trying to check things off our wedding to-do list. While I focused on the registry (apparently just having an ice cream maker on the registry was considered a faux pas) M worked for 45 minutes on filling in all the details of our accommodations page. He worked out prices, distance to venue, placed them in order of least to most booked…the works. When he was finished I heard him calmly say “Oh no”. When I asked him what had happened he sighed and told me everything he had just worked on for the last 45 minutes was deleted. Simultaneously, I felt so sad for him but was also so amazed that THAT was his reaction. I kept watching him like a little specimen, waiting for the big blow up. He shook his head and went back to trying to fix it.
That. That right there is a perfect example of how we can be total opposites sometimes. I want to preface this with saying that, as a counselor, I am aware of what an appropriate reaction is and what an inappropriate reaction is. I am also aware that we do not control other people and we do not control what happens around us (usually) but what we do control is our actions. That being said. MY initial reaction would have been to throw my computer out the window. Just kidding. Kind of. But there would for sure have been a large, exaggerated exclamation, followed by some stomping of the feet and then a good 3 minute pout before pulling myself together and reminding myself that I am a grown up and what an actual appropriate reaction is (See M’s above).
We are so similar in some ways but soooooo different in others. What would have caught my hair on fire, simply ruffled M’s feathers a bit before he calmly moved right along with his day. Even though this happened three days ago, I found myself still thinking about it today. “You’ve got to be a water sign or something”, I said to him, knowing that whatever he is, it must be opposite of what I am (I’m Fire…SURPRISE!!). We decided to look up characteristics of both and see if it fits…He is earth by the way.
Extremely down to earth and grounded (Check)
Dependable and trustworthy (Check Check)
Never ending duty of responsibility (CHECK)
The most dependable signs and always there to help out a friend (He has spent many nights talking on the phone and coaching friends through big decisions. So. Check)
Assertive and courageous (somewhat)
Independent and at times hard headed (welp)
Enormous passion for life (yep)
Big hearts (remember how I’ve been banned from the news)
The most sensitive of the signs
Strong emotional bonds with others
Don’t always make decisions based on logic
Smart thinkers who handle abstract reasoning well
All about communication
Often calm and collected but can quickly turn cold (like the wind!)